We had a great day with Kaden on Wednesday. We have decided to take him off of his supports on Friday. I am hanging in there, but it is getting harder and I am crying a little more at the thought of not being able to see him and hold him anymore in this life. The NICU has made an exception for our children. Thursday they are going to move Kaden to a room all by himself without other NICU patients. There they are going to allow Abbie, Carter and Justin to come in and see him and touch him. I am so thankful for this tender mercy, as we don't know that he will make it on Friday to come home at all. Tonight we had a major scare with him. He needed to be moved and in the process his breathing tube came out. The nurse was calling and getting the doctor and respitory team in there as quick as she could to get another tube back in. They had to bag him so that he was getting enough air because his oxygen level fell very quickly. I was not ready for this and was scared we were going to loose him right there. I was crying at the thought of it all being over right then, so close to him getting to see his siblings. They were able to get his tube back in and he stabalized and seemed to be fine when we left to go home, though it tore at our hearts for both Spencer and I to leave him. Though the experience was hard, I wonder if the Lord gave us this experience to prepare us for Friday. It is important to us to spend quality time with him in his last few moments. Even if it is from the hosptial. We would love to bring him home to pass, but don't know if that is really an option at this point. His spirit is so strong, everyone who comes by him can't deny that. He is really a little piece of heaven right among us.
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